Monday, September 19, 2005

Self esteem revisited

Remember as a child, having a crush on the neighborhood boy or girl who wouldn’t give you the time of day, nonetheless think you were pretty or handsome.

Remember when you and your best friend got into that first real argument, and stopped talking for a while – you later felt lonely because nobody knew your desires and kept your secrets like your best friend; what about when you longed to be part of that school activity and were shunned because on the surface, you didn’t seem as qualified as the others.

Moments like these, even in our childhood, can have devastating effects on our self esteem.

Do you recall how you recovered from feeling isolated, unattractive and discouraged?

In most cases, you would have probably resulted to taking 1 of 3 actions.

1. You look for ways to change yourself or the situation to become a better, stronger person,
and keep from feeling discouraged.

2. You change your perspective, and accept things as they are, but re-focus to find a positive
aspect, even if it’s not what you truly desire.

3. You do nothing and never confront the depressive cycle that attacks your self-esteem.

As adults, what makes our way of dealing with emotions vastly different from the way we did in our youth?

My guess is, not much!

Many of us throughout our lives have dealt with seclusion.

Some won’t admit it, but low self esteem happens to many people and can be evident in different ways; some more obvious than others.

Much of what you were told or conditioned to believe, you’ve grown to adopt over the years, and because of this, it’s an even bigger challenge to overcome this barrier.

The lack of self esteem that resides in your belly has been getting fed for way too long.

You may now have come to expect suffering and loneliness, and are consumed by pessimistic behaviors.

Most people in this state feel they are not worthy of complete contentment because as a child, it wasn’t reinforced that you were beautiful or handsome.

Maybe you weren’t taught how to communicate and didn’t witness anything but strife in your home, so you couldn’t exhaust any examples of what it meant to be a good friend, good spouse or even good parent.

You may not have had your talents praised, or been encouraged to explore them.

Now, in this stage of your life, your esteem is no longer prolonged by another person’s contribution – but that of your own.

You now have choices.

You now have the power of change.

Of course, accepting inferiority is not a deliberate action, because we all love ourselves, right?

Or is that really the case?

Sometimes we can love our jobs, our friends, and our spouses more than we love ourselves.

We learn to tuck the hurt away and define our lives by other things.

A person with low self esteem who wants so desperately and anxiously to be loved, does so, for a couple of reasons – one, because its human nature, and two, they simply haven’t found the means to love themselves.

They haven’t been able to accept their faults and gain knowledge from mistakes, which unequivocally keeps them bound.

Managing and dealing with esteem begins with an active contribution from you.

Begin by removing blame and finding forgiveness.

You ARE beautiful and/or handsome.

The Lord made you exquisite.

The most beautiful aspect of a person is conjured of what emanates from their heart.

You ARE talented.

The things that you enjoy the most have been bestowed on you as a gift to be shared with others.

And most important of all, you ARE worthy!

You are worthy of respect and love.

Love isn’t prejudice or contingent upon the person requesting it.

The Lord put you on this earth to do great things, even if it’s for the benefit of another being.

But first, you have to love yourself.

Look at your image and relish on the distinctness of your eyes, your arms, your fingers, and your toes, in essence – everything that makes you, YOU.

Then look to your heart, minister to it through empowering thoughts.

Look at the world with new eyes that spew love and compassion, you’re likely to receive in return, what you give out.

Though self esteem stems from the past, it certainly doesn’t mean you have to keep living in it.

Embrace your exceptional self.

There’s only one like you.

Won't you start to practise loving yourself daily?


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